Channeling Densu ?!?

I can sense my supa-powers
rekindling time-honored internal fires,
releasing barely-suppressed, spiritually-encoded desires
I am channeling... Densu.

Inspired by the healers, I make no more excuses.
with boldness and a humility that is yet to come,
I am unsure, but willing
exposed but hidden.

Nevertheless I carry on
finding courage cocooned in my knowledge
This decision was made b4 I stood.
If truth was one to be told
I re-member the story be-spoken from old
I am chaneling.. Densu.

retreating into the sound-box of my mind
I am led by the melodic timbre of his voice.
Ahhh! I clap my hands with unbridled delight
Light of foot and quickened by earnest
I joyfully journey into my eastern forest.
I am channeling.. Densu.

A captive pigeon, I am now captivated!
released by the shot of a wise inspirer,
freed by the choice of a healer-admirer
Yes!!! Once again I hear the melodic timbre of his voice.
A divine design I know this to be unfolding.
I am channeling.. Densu.

Embracing my journey as it unfolds
I finally conclusively shun my manipulators hold
An elusive understanding of self is manifesting..
Open minds, Open hearts,
a soul bared, a spirit shared
I am channeling... Densu.

With effortless grace I unfurl my wings.
Seeking unparalleled heights I begin to Soar
knowing and growing
A change has come
This beautiful one yet to be, is finally born
I am channeling... Densu.

If I had time..

I would talk about all the things taking up my time ;-) But since I don't, I will only say this: One day soon, when the time comes, I will be back here to take my time and chronicle my journey. Till them, Aluta Contynua!
A.

Steppin out 2 Step in, Stepping in 2 step out

I had to step out to step in
I had to loose breath, in order to breathe
My path is circular
or so it seems
One step in, two steps out
..and then back again

The differences are subtle in this two step dance I do
Step in and out, out and in
Oft times it seems I never move forward
Story in constant replay
But each time I re-see, re-say and re-be, I re-illuminate and re-discover

This is my circle
My Journey
Bursting with Vision
Sinking in none
Craving Action
Inspired to static motion

Thoughts random
Inertia ruling my days
Movements stealing my nights
Internal morphing
External faking

I had to step out to step back in
I had to put my pen down to write
To shut my mind up to think
To loathe so I could love
I am still on the continuum
Emotions still undetermined
Everything so elusive
Constantly feeling like I have been here b4
5 paces 4wd 10 skips backwards

Back here
Way back here
The view is different
Life altering experiences
Mind and Spirit existing in changed states
Unfamiliar territory.. to my flesh
But the spirit demands..
that i step out to step back in

Guide me thou Great Jehovah
I weak, You mighty
I blind, You seeing
I empty, You filling
Fill my Cup Lord
I life it up Lord
Stepping in so I can step out..

Engaged! Shit!

Yea, I Said it, Shit! Shit! Shit!
For every reason under the sun and then some!
Once again, the million dollar question "How did i get here?"
I gotta think some, I'll be back!
Ohhhh shitttt! ( the good, the really good, the scary, the uncertain, the bad, the really bad, the scary, the ugly) ohhh shit!
It's a good very good thing I love him, lol!
I'll be back ( aka Arnold )

Seeking.. Thinking..illuminating Oct 14th

I am seeking.
Seeking so desperately the eternal.
These days I am so conscious of my apetite for that which lasts 4ever.. which only serves to higlight my consciousness of my willingness to i say settle for the temporal..

Its easy to get caught up in the physical , in the peripheral, in the temporal. .. and I become distinictly aware of my apetite for these things as i seek the spiritual, the central and the eternal..

My strength is made perfect in your weakness, or so the good book says.. I must be honest and admit, I'd rather have no weakness i can beat myself over. Cos i am all black and blue. my brusises and broken bones i CANNOT count.

I have been fasting.. I figured Ramaddan was as good a time as any to get down to the nitty gritty on this lifelong journey I got going with the great I AM.

In fasting I have "abstained" from some of the things that satisfy my seemingly DNA inscribed pursuit of pleasure..

Its been gratifying, frustrating, mystifying, annoying, frustrating, did i say frustrating?? oh yea and also incredibly illuminating..

For one thing, I see clearly how temporal in their fulfilment the things I take great delight in, are. At the same time I am whacked on the head by how deeply i crave them still..

Talk about the great paradox of how you get people who know better to act out their knowledge.. "BC" as they say in public health i.e. behavior change. Now thats something they are still holding out the nobel peace prize 4!

And this ranges from my great delite in good yummy food to my need to "change the world"...& everything "sinful" and noble that exist inbetween.

I told myself i was seeking clarity. I told my God that I was seeking clarity. direction. seeking the I AM. seeking to know more. to have dimensions previously unknown illuminated in bright lights. I know this dont happen over a 30 day period of fasting on the regular. but a start would be nice.

Well, lets just say i got more questions than answers. Maybe this is the middle point where you get real frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. You know that point the Sages of old and new constantly speak to.. Maybe all i need is to get past this patch of great confusion to start to finally grasp something, anything... a straw!

I am such a head person, but i am coming to see that this is something i will probably never get my head around.
This- as in-
Why i am so incredibly easily satisfied with mudpies when a feast awaits.
Why I often times lose my way, in so many things and so many ways.. yea, i know its getting real cryptic. but this is my blog dangit grrr...
Why I cant seem to completely trust in the capacity and the truth of my creator.
Why I have become so adept at burying my doubts, 'less they bury me.
Why sometimes I figure there isnt much else left to experience on this side eternity as none will completely satisfy. Cos truth be told, i am coming to believe that that which is meant to fill the gaping seemingly abyss-like place in my inside, is not on this side...

Then why do i continue to seek? In hope I guess. In faith. In the knowledge and believe that at the very least those who ever find as those who set out on the path to seek..

I have said it time and time again.. It is a journey yall, and right now it feels like a mothaf-ing oh so frustrating journey...

None the less.. BE MAGNIFIED OH LORD MY GOD..

Inspired by Hafiz.. March 15th 2006

Love is ...
Tis an ideal and I believe possible..
To love without expectation
To love for the essence
To love day in and day out and to let it light up the sky
Tis possible

Love is.. Thoughts.. March 29th 2006

Love is the glue that will bind us all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:14

How so like The Abba Father to say something like that..
Do you know that His heart is an abyss of Love?

Without Love, it would be impossible to be united.
As a church, as a group seeking the Father's heart, and as individuals.

It's been easier for me to learn ( yes learn) how to love The Abba daddy, My neighbour and Myself with an eternity focussed mind and heart.

Just meditate on this for a second..
All that really matters in this lifetime is that which is eternal in its nature.

Love is Eternal.

The things that we allow to create dishormony in our bodies, our relationships with each other, and in the church have limited eternal value.

And thus in my opinion not worthy of our minds and our hearts.

Love, Love, Love..

It is the glue that will bind all things together in perfect unity.
Just as the Father, the Son and the Spirit are united in Love for all eternity

So we ought to strive to be also.

THE FATHER LOVES US. KNOW THIS. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND THIS. TO BE CONSCIOUS OF THIS. ALWAYS.

I am treasured and precious in the sight of the Divine Authority.

So are you.

Let us all be united in Love which covers all things, looking forward to an eternity that is perfect and ordained by HIM who was and is and is to come.

Amen

...Excerpt from an Online Discussion I was taking part in..

April 7th 2006

never really thought about it before to be honest. i accepted what i was spoon fed and parrotted it quite well. .. We are all sinners,through Adam and through our own acts ( or omission of acts). This is why Christ died, so you best repent and be forgiven. You will get to go heaven and escape the fire and brimstone, the weeping and gnashing of teeth, that is Hell.

my bullseye? the Holiness of God. the heart of God. GodLove. This is His Glory.

falling short of the above is in my eyes sin. none bigger than the other.. whenever we fail to live up to His essence, to glorify the God is, in and around us, we "miss the mark"..you break the Father's heart to the same magnitude by killing or by being gossiping.

God is Love, this is my divinely inspired knowledge. I mean really, this IS the essence of the I AM. GodLove. Anything done in Love is done to His praise and Glory. An adultration of Love is unHoly.

Funnily enough, i have always felt ungodly whenever i am the least bit unloving. the least bit...

I have sat with this some more.. If we were made in His image ( complete with Free will) then our very nature should compel us to be Love and Holy like the Father. This then was the essence of Man before his fall. Allowing for him to commune directly with the Abba in the "cool of the evening". Were he not of GodLove he wont have been able to exist in I AM's prescence. remember this is why we need the sacrifice of the Lamb of God. So that we can stand in His righteousness and be Holy and acceptable to the Father, Praise Him, that was and is and is to come ;-)

In time however (Wo)Man had to make a choice ( free will) and in this He chose to act contrary to His nature, birthing the seed of ManLove within humanity. Note how as soon as he partook of this nature ( disobeyed Abba) it become easier for Him to act contrary to the GodLove nature.. from "apple" to lies, to calling I AM unLove ( it was the woman you gave me...).. its like you never think that you could really kill someone until you do, then it becomes easier each time.. almost like you plant the seed by your first action and evil that seeks always to propagate itself, waters it and it grows and blooms into a massive tree..

I AM must have forseen this betrayal and even though GodLove had the ability to cocoon his companion man, He would not have being able to partake of the rapturous, delightful knowledge that comes with knowing that you are loved by your beloved of his own volition.

Hmm.. its strange how in sitting with this, i see the Divine simplicity in this mystery. I ever tell you how awesome it is to be blessed to see some through the heart eyes of God??? And its funny cos I (we) can relate to the great I AM on this. I've been there. You know, had the lover with whom my spirit refused to rest in the "knowledge" of His love, because it wasnt convinced that if presented with a choice (except the choice of me and Abba) that i would be his chosen...... in time i came to realize that this wasnt the kind of Love i sought and that indeed the Father desired more for me. He caused for my connection to this Love to be severed and began to teach me what Love truly looks like... Thank God he saved me because unlike the Infinite Divine, i doubt very much that i could have stayed and continued to knock on my beloved's heart door without it corrupting my Love and my spirit...

And in this i am knowing that we are indeed created in His image. For as the Chirst said this is how I AM knows he is our beloved. If you love me you will keep my commandments -John 14:15. Not out of a sense of obligation cos you claim to be a follower of the Way, but because the litmus test for Love is such: when presented with a choice between your beloved and another, True Love, seeds of Godlove will compel you chose Love.

So my prayer is this; That Abba daddy reworks my heart. my ability to Love. not as man does but as God does. For His nature to increase and mine to decrease. To love both daddy dearest and My not so dear neighbour, lol. I crave a lifelong God lesson on love. several on a daily basis. This is the most precious thing. In the now and most importantly for eternity. I desperately want my spirit to be compelled out of Love to always seek Love's way. This is true Holiness. And in this I will be enabled to obey alwas my darling Divine Counsellor, Healer, Lord and Friend and He will have true knowledge that He is my beloved.

Prophetic Musings..

Still Waiting - Oct 27th 2004

This is my hundredth storm

Or so it seems..

Where is the calmness that s'pposed to pass?

I am still waiting for my still waters..



Still waiting to breathe

Still waiting to laugh

Still waiting to clear my head

Still waiting to know that its not all dead



Where is the calmness that’s sopposed to pass?

I am still waiting for my still waters..



Still waiting

Still waiting to be still

Be still

Still

Still



I came on board full of dreams

With hopes of seeing things

Wanting to explore, to conquer, to learn,

to understand..



But I keep getting tossed up on these waves

And even though I know my lessons are herein

I am still waiting for the still waters

To take it all in



But I gotta keep on moving,

Get up brush up and keep on moving

I got to keep keeping on

Keeping hoping on

Keep moving on



I know that my still waters will come

It might be after my hundredth n one storm

But my stillness, it will come

So I will wait and In the meantime

Be still…

Matter of fact I will be still in my storms

And my stillness, His stillness,

will my waters calm.



Then I will have my stillness

Not after my storms..But right in the midst of them

I will have still waters

Still.

In the midst of my storms.